Difficult Conversations
   
 
   
 
 
 
CRUCIAL BUT DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
Difficult conversations are a part of normal business and will always be challenging. With fear and anxiety being part of the equation, in what we will call the “DCs”, no wonder we avoid having them. Unfortunately, our avoidance can lead to further roadblocks and higher emotional tolls. It’s unrealistic to think that emotions can be eliminated. We can, however, learn to manage and reduce them, leading to a more effective communication and better results.

Examples of difficult conversations include:

  • Telling a co-worker they’re not pulling their weight
  • Being asked to do an unreasonable amount of work
  • Fearing retaliation from a manager if given unwanted feedback

All of these issues have the potential for keeping us up at night and impacting our satisfaction with work. But when the anxiety of speaking up is greater than the consequences of not saying anything, we will frequently leak our feelings in other non productive ways.

The first step in addressing these sensitive issues is to “come clean with ourselves”. What do we really want the outcome of the conversation to be? This may not be as easy as it sounds.

Reflect on these questions:

  • Do we just want to air or vent our thoughts or feelings?
  • Do we want to just be “right”?
  • Do we want others to have necessary information?
  • Is setting a limit with another our goal?
  • Do we want to hear what others have to say or learn about another’s perspective as a basis for negotiating?

Reacting emotionally to difficult conversations is part of being human, but we can impact unwanted turmoil by spending a little time examining our motives and getting clear about the wanted outcome of our communications.